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  • I'm feeling very sad and alone and hopeless today.

    6:59:00 PM 8/26/2025
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  • Rumspringa summer is ending and fall ango is nearly upon us. These are my commitments this season. I'm still sangha-less. I never did write that blog post about how things went during the last sesshin. There's no way to sum it up well, but let's say my search continues. I'll be doing a sesshin at the only rinzai temple in France this season. If anything, I will have learned something.

    Liked by:

    #Buddhism #zen #rinzai #Soto #religion #ango #sangha

    9:33:00 PM 8/25/2025
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  • In reply to: https://mastodon.social/@ahtynon/115057227685560463

    @ahtynon Hm, bon, on peut regarder sans souffrir des dégâts psychiques. Et il y a des moments intéressants. Merci pendant le troisième acte, ça part un peu en live avec un accompagnement de n'importe quoi.

    1:37:37 PM 8/23/2025
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  • I was just thinking about someone I crossed paths with years ago. A classmate in my Tribal Religions class. They had a such an impact on me without even knowing it probably. (I also had a crush on them.) I was wondering where they are, how they are, if they would even remember me, if they're still alive. (Idk why but sometimes that crosses my mind.) We didn't interact all that much. They probably don't know this. Funny how it can work like that sometimes

    Liked by:

    #humans #connections #memories #life

    1:31:49 PM 8/23/2025
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  • So these last three months, different to the three months before, I didn't try so hard with my blood pressure but it raised sightly, within the margin of normal variation. Which means that if there is some kind of thing I can control in this whole process, it really is only my stress level and that's about it. The rest, I guess, is genetics.

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    7:48:00 PM 8/21/2025
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  • In reply to: https://mastodon.social/@donthatedontkill/115053407492235887

    Okay so unfortunately it kind of sucked. Oopsies.

    8:57:58 PM 8/19/2025
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  • I've been avoiding buying new furniture for the apartment and instead prefering used things from individuals. (It's better for the environment and less reification.) But I'm having a hard time finding an armoirie and if I don't start organizing my clothes soon, I will go crazy. So I'm going to IKEA. Heaven help me. But I'm making a day of it since it's far out. I'm going to have dinner and see Dracula too. Pretty excited for this Dracula if I do say so myself.

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    #movies #horror #ecology #moving

    5:42:00 AM 8/19/2025
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  • I'm 100% over French people telling me to calm down whenever I talk about the US becoming a fascist country.

    8:39:00 PM 8/17/2025
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  • In reply to: https://mas.to/@stevegis_ssg/115000603113192852

    @stevegis_ssg It has no right!!

    8:20:21 PM 8/10/2025
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  • The predicted the entire geriatric US government. Wow!

    #transmetropolitan #uspol #comics

    8:19:00 PM 8/10/2025
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  • Finally got in a little exercise after several weeks of no exercise.... Unless you count moving, painting and anxiety attacks. I feel much better.

    1:16:00 PM 8/9/2025
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  • In reply to: https://mastodon.social/@derap/114992972618412329

    @derap Yes The midnight! I was wondering what they were up to! :catjam:

    2:36:07 PM 8/8/2025
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  • In reply to: https://mastodon.social/@crisps/114993112366534171

    @crisps "Well, I had a husband, kids and a yard, and I managed to do it all!" Okay, now you're just flexing your capital and that's BAD MANNERS

    2:23:50 PM 8/8/2025
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  • While I'm complaining: I find it really rich that some clearly wealthy retiree capital owner gave me a lecture about making time to clean, me who has a demanding job, lives alone & is a foreigner (the time spent on admin adds up!). She retorts she had a husband, kids & yard, and I said "did your husband help you?" ("Yes") and reminded her it was a different time without today's pressures. Not to mention how my monocular vision and neurodivergence adds other obstacles; this was not the audience.

    1:41:45 PM 8/8/2025
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  • So I finally turned in the keys to the apartment. The landlord of course did her normal moralizing and commenting but hey at least it's the last time! I moved into the new place Saturday. @ahtynon@mastodon.social helped me paint the Thursday and Friday before. I'm happy to be away from her, that apartment, that situation, that neighborhood, everything. Good riddance Jesus fucking Christ. Now to continue unpacking and furnituring in the new place...

    12:58:00 PM 8/8/2025
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  • I always very much further that I'm seen differently in France than the US, like physically speaking, and it's always wild to me

    1:16:00 AM 7/29/2025
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  • I've got nearly everything in boxes. Enough to % sure I can do the rest the day before the move and not be stressed. I can feel this nightmare being nearly over and I'm ready.

    #moving

    5:29:44 PM 7/27/2025
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  • Last night I played Fear and Hunger 2 while hanging out with @PapiKitsune and I kept having to pause to take deep breaths. And he kept saying, "But you haven't even fought anyone yet!" 😹 It's the anticipation though!!! And then I couldn't go to sleep because we played it right before bed. Someone save me from myself. 🤭

    #fearandhunger #fearandhunger2 #fearandhungerii #videogames #friends #nerdshit #hangingout #horror #cosmichorror

    12:12:21 PM 7/27/2025
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  • In reply to: https://mas.to/@stevegis_ssg/114915584540081985

    @stevegis_ssg :cwy: :catjam: :scremcat: :catPOWER:

    9:45:27 PM 7/25/2025
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  • TO THE GUY WHO DID NOT ASK WHAT SAUCE I WANTED AND GAVE ME KETCHUP*, YOU ARE ON MY LIST. I HATE KETCHUP.

    *If he hadn't insisted on speaking to me in English, I wouldn't believe that his stereotyping me as an American.

    7:42:56 PM 7/25/2025
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  • Blog posts
  • Marry me!!! is the last thing you expect at 2am

    I just got home and I need to write about an experience I just had that I'm still trying to understand.

    I had left a friend's house after a nice little dinner and had decided to take one of t...

    1:58:00 AM 6/28/2025
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  • Spiders in the web: Hyperion's Farcasters and Technofeudalism

    SPOILERS FOR THE HYPERION SERIES

    I recently finished the Hyperion Cantos. For those who have never heard of it, you can check out

    8:11:00 PM 5/4/2025
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  • Slump (A poem)

    Wind rushing by my ears
    Branches slap my face
    Speed increasing
    As gravity drags me down
    Into its bosom
    Woosh, whack, whiz
    As I wake up
    To a once hidden nightmare.

    ...

    4:26:00 PM 12/19/2024
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  • A Manifesto? - Part 1: New Ways of Being

    I have an idea rattling around in my head. An embryo of an idea. A little intellectual itch nagging at me. A perpetual refrain when my mind idles and looks for the nearest thing to alight on. A noti...

    4:06:00 PM 10/13/2024
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  • The dreams continue.

    During my nap, in the dream I woke up from it but not for real. There was someone strangely in my apartment. Seemed kind of lost. I asked who he was and why he was here and he just left. Then I went...

    3:27:00 PM 7/22/2024
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How I'm Spending My Free Time

Ecotopia emerging

Ernest Callenbach

Cover of Ecotopia emerging

Total playtime in the last two weeks

6.85 hours